Mini Clone
by Mini Reyes
Summary: Cosima was short to start with, but one morning she wakes up a LOT shorter than she remembers being. Written mostly for the laughs and hasn't a real plot line just yet.
1. Chapter 1

"DELPHINE!" Cosima yelled.

"Cosima? Cosima where are you?!" Delphine was getting frustrated, it was fun for the first two minutes, but once she found that she actually had no idea where the woman was, the game got boring.

"Hey! Watch the feet!"

"What are you talking about?" Delphine looked down at her feet, "MERDE! COSIMA!" Cosima stood right beside Delphine's foot, but she was barely the height of the appendage she stood next too. Arms crossed, a teeny tiny scowl plastered across her face as she glared up at Delphine, "Cosima what on Earth?!"

"I don't know! I just woke up like this!" She threw her hands in the air.

"You've shrunk!" Delphine stated in surprise.

"Yes thank you I realise that Captain Obvious, now pick me up," Cosima raised her hands above her head like a child, making 'grabby hands' up at Delphine. Delphine raised an eyebrow, crouched down, and lay her hand flat on the floor, "Thank you!" She had to yell to be heard.

Cosima found that carpet was not as cool to walk on when you were only an inch and a half high, it was squishy and her feet kept through the fibres. Once she was able to navigate the horrible strands, Cosima had to pull herself on Delphine's hand, she felt like a child again when she had to hook her knee over the side of Delphine's palm to haul herself on.

"Are you naked?" Delphine asked, pushing Cosima into her palm and lifting her up.

"Yes! I am!" Cosima growled, curling up, "Ain't nothing you haven't seen before either," Cosima pointed out.

"Oh I am quite sure I have not seen _this _before ma Cherie."

"Only I've shrunk, nothing artificial has shrunk with me it seems, my nose ring is gone but more importantly, my glasses- I CAN'T SEE!" Cosima waved her hand in front of her face.

Delphine brought her hand closer to her face, "Okay Cosima, it's alright, calm down," Delphine reassured, she could hear the panic in Cosima's voice.

"I am not okay Delphine, I'm a midget! As if I wasn't short enough already now I'm not even human size anymore!"

"Hey hey hey… Cosima, Cosima look at me," Delphine waited till the tiny woman looked back up at her, almost microscopic tears falling from the frightened woman's eyes, "We'll fix this. We will."

Cosima swallowed and wiped her eyes.

Delphine couldn't help but find it cute because she was _so small._

"No one can know about this," Cosima said.

"Alright, no one will… Do you want to sit my shoulder too?" Delphine asked sarcastically.

Cosima actually lit up at the idea, "Hell yeah!" Delphine deposited Cosima onto her shoulder, "Okay, like I love your face but it's kinda creepy having it that close… and large…"

Delphine laughed and headed for the kitchen, "Let's see about some food then."

"WHOA!" Cosima almost fell off Delphine's shoulder, "STOP!" Cosima yelled.

Delphine stopped, "What's wrong?"

"Okay when you're the size of a bug, you walking feels like a richter ten earth quake."

"Oh!" Delphine laughed, almost causing Cosima to nearly fall- again.

"Eeep!" Cosima lunged for Delphine's hair, grabbing on in a 'cling bear' hug, wrapping her arms in the golden locks, "Holy watershed Delphine," Cosima moaned, "Your hair is fucking magical," Cosima shoved her face into the strands, rubbing them against her face, "So sofffttttt…."

"Cosima get out of my hair! May I remind you that you are naked?" Delphine was not all too happy with this development.

"Oh I haven't forgotten, my god your hair is amazing, how can hair be this soft!"

"Cosima you have until the count of three… one… two…."

"What happens when you get to three?"

"I pull you out… three!"

Cosima squealed as to her, giant fingers came combing through towards her. Delphine's fingers trapped her, pulling her out of the magical forest, she fell into Delphine's palm.

"Alright that's it, I'm making you some clothes!"

"Why? Am I distracting you?" Cosima asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

Delphine glared, "Cosima you are the size of a child's doll, I couldn't do anything even if I wanted to."

"Oh but I could do sooo much with you," Cosima winked, "that would really take the phrase 'being in someone' to a whooooole new level!"

Delphine gasped, "Cosima! You are an inch tall and the first thing you want to do is have sex?!" Delphine scoffed and dropped the woman into a mug.

"Ouch!" Cosima voiced her displeasure, "Hey that hurt! And there is still tea in this mug! Ugh! And I am an inch and a half if I'm not mistaken!"

"That is wrong on so many levels…" Delphine mumbled to herself as she left Cosima stranded on the dining room table.

"You can't just leave me here!" Cosima yelled. Delphine didn't bother responding, "Great…" Cosima mumbled, looking around her at the tea that ringed the bottom of the mug.

Meanwhile Delphine rummaged around their apartment looking for supplies but she couldn't find anything.

"Cosima do you not have a sewing kit?"

"A what?" The mug amplified her voice so that Delphine could hear her across the room.

"A needle and thread!"

"No! What use would I have for those!"

Delphine came back to the table, and picked Cosima out with her fingers.

"Hey! NO man handling that's not comfortable! That's really- ouch! Weird. PUT ME DOWN!"

Delphine plonked the short woman on the table.

"Sorry," She apologised.

"I am not a toy!"

"No but you're the size of one."

"That's not the same thing. Where are you goin?!" Cosima panicked as she watched move away from her, "Don't leave me here!"

"Relax, I'm just going to put some proper clothes on," Delphine rolled her eyes and went back into their bedroom to change, leaving a shrunken Cosima to fend for herself for a few minutes.

Cosima wondered around the table in search of food, "Pizza!" She cried upon remembering the box of leftovers that they had put on the table the night before. She made her way to it and crawled through the air hole in the side of it, though she couldn't see much between her deteriorated vision and the lack of light in the box she still managed to run into the greasy food. Literally. It was really weird to think that she'd just crawled into a pizza box, and boy was the cardboard horrible! Greasy and somewhat squishy, but hey, who passes up the chance of pizza? Even if it was now bigger than her head…

Cosima didn't bother contemplating it though, she grabbed a salami slice with two hands and pulled, leaning back and pulling with all her weight until the meat piece dislodged itself- sending Cosima flying into the next slice. Cosima was not deterred by falling on her ass in pizza and instead took note not to eat from that slice as she nibbled her prized salami like a mouse might nibble cheese.


	2. Chapter 2

"Cosima?" Delphine called, "Cosima where are you now?!"

"Pizza!" Cosima called.

"What?" Delphine had heard what the woman had said, but it was still confusing. The tall blonde walked over to their cluttered table and pulled the cardboard lid up, finding her shortened partner holding up a slice of salami triumphantly.

"Fooood!"

Delphine laughed, "Well this is one way to get you to stop eating so much."

"Om nom nom," Was Cosima's only reply as she pulled a chunk of pizza base off and bit some of the meat, then a bit of base, "You know, a single pizza will go a lot further now, think of all the money we could save!"

"Finding the silver lightning to the situation?"

"Lining," Cosima corrected, "And actually, I suppose it's not so bad, there are perks to being incredibly small."

"Like crawling into pizza boxes?"

"Uh huh!" Cosima replied before stuffing as much into her mouth as she could.

"Alright well…" Delphine reached down and scooped Cosima into her hand, knocking her legs out from under her but catching her in the palm of her hand.

"Oof! Hey! No, foooooood!" Cosima whined, trying to get back to the pizza.

"Geez Cosima what were doing? Swimming in it? You're all greasy!"

"I may have fallen in it," Cosima mumbled.

"Fallen- Okay you are having a shower before we go," Delphine said, carrying Cosima away from the table- away from the pizza.

"Go? Hang on I can't have a shower! I'll get washed down the drain!"

"I'm not going to let you drown Cosima, please have some faith in me," Delphine replied, and grabbed a glass, putting it horizontally for Cosima to walk into before very slowly and carefully tipping it upright.

"Okay so what am I doing here exactly?"

"Be careful ma Cherie, I'm going to add water."

"Wh-Oh, Okay," Cosima braced herself as Delphine tilted the cup again so the water wouldn't land on top of her as she filled the glass with enough water to come up to Cosima's waist, "This is really weird."

"It's even weirder from here. I'm looking at a teeny tiny naked Cosima, who is apparently not bothered by this at all. It's a real mind bender, not to mention _how _you ended up that way."

"Meh, you've seen me naked many times," Cosima shrugged, dunking herself down into the water for a moment.

"Yes, and you are so unself-conscious, it…"

"Well I'm proud of my body," Cosima explained, "why wouldn't I want to show it off? Can you pass me the soap?"

"Sure…" Delphine walked into the bathroom and grabbed the bar of soap from the shower and used tweezers from behind the bathroom mirror to cut out a small little block for her now miniature girlfriend. Coming back to the table she dropped the soap into the water.

It really was bizarre, Delphine thought, to be watching Cosima shower- or rather, bath, in a glass, standing at maybe not even a tenth of her original height. And despite her earlier panic, she was now totally calm now that she wasn't alone. But while Cosima might have calmed down, Delphine was still reeling, somehow the woman had become an inch and a half tall overnight and she was taking a bath in a drinking glass… Even if she wanted to tell someone of the bizarre occurrence, they'd think she was insane!

"Enjoying yourself Delphine?" Cosima teased, almost swimming around in the glass, "I'm clean, can I get out now?"

"Oh," Delphine snapped out of her daze, "Yes of course," She grabbed the glass, rocking Cosima's world as she walked and carefully poured out the water- and Cosima.

"Weeeeee!" Cosima shot out the end of the glass with a giant smile, "That was like going down a waterslide! I wanna do that again!"

Delphine chuckled and placed a tea towel down on a dry patch of the sink, "Just dry yourself off so we can go and get you some clothes."

"Why? You wanna cover this up?" Cosima teased and turned around, wiggling her butt at Delphine.

"Oh mon dieu Cosima!" Delphine threw a corner of the cloth over Cosima and grabbed her bag off of back of the chair and slung it over her shoulder, "Just dry yourself off…"

Cosima pulled at the cloth and dried herself as she would normally, it wasn't that difficult, in fact when one spot got too damp, she had an abundance of tea towel to move along till she felt sufficiently dry. It was great!

"Alright, come on now let's go. Otherwise I'll be late for work."

"Okay okay," Cosima was comfortably seated in the little towel-mahal that she had made for herself and didn't really want to leave the warm cocoon she had created for herself.

"Cosima," Delphine warned, "I will leave you here if you don't get out."

"Coming!" Cosima squeaked, rushing out of the fabric as fast as she could.

Once again, Delphine put her hand out for the miniature woman to walk onto, "Where am I going to put you…"

"Hair?" Cosima asked hopefully with a grin that fell as soon as she saw Delphine's glare, "Or not."

"Just find a way to balance yourself on my shoulder or I'll put you in my handbag."

"But Delphine you have _scissors _in your bag! And God knows what else!"

"So I guess you'll find a way to sit still then won't you?" The blonde teased.

Cosima grumbled, hoisting herself into a comfortable position and as casually as possible holding onto a lock of silky hair, for balance of course.

Just as Delphine was walking to the door, someone knocked.

"Someone's coming," Delphine whispered, trying to think of where she could put her girlfriend where she wouldn't be spotted, get lost or stuck. Cosima pushed off, sliding down the woman's collarbone and over her chest, "Cosima what are you-"

"Shhh!" Cosima replied, catching the edge of Delphine's bra to stop her fall and hoisting herself into the cup, moulding her body into the curve of the soft flesh.

"Cosima!" Delphine chastised, "Now is really not the time!" She pulled her shirt forward and tried to remove the woman.

"Hello?" A voice called from the other side of the door.

"Just a second!" Delphine called out.

"Mmmm… Boob," Cosima hummed, wiggling until she was able to spread her arms out around Delphine's breast.

"Shush!" Delphine wacked Cosima, giving up trying to pull her out, "Stop moving! What are you even doing? Are you- Are you rubbing your face against me?" Delphine whispered. As she moved to the door, "Be still!" She hissed as a warning before opening the door, "Oh you are in so much trouble…"

"Hi."

"Oh hi Sarah, what… what are you doing here?"

"Oh, yeah…. I was actually looking for Cos, she around? I mean this is her apartment."

"Sorry, she's not uh, not accessible right now." Delphine replied and she could _feel _Cosima shaking as she tried not to laugh.

Sarah looked at her wearily, "Then who were you talking to?"

"No one."

"But I heard you…" Sarah then shook her head, "Nevermind, I don't care, just tell Cos I checked by," Sarah said and then shoved her hands in her pockets and walked away.

Delphine wasn't entirely sure what had just happened as she watched Sarah leave, but she didn't have time to dwell on it.


End file.
